By Nancy S Buck, PhD, RN
I’m single by choice . . . just not my choice (Best line ever from a movie — thank you Best Exotic Marigold Hotel) Because of my single life there are many choices, challenges and obstacles that I face ALONE.
For instance, recently I moved from the east coast to Denver, the biggest leap I had ever taken since leaving home at age 18 and going to college. When I left home at age 18 however, I entered a community of my peers. There were many other college students facing the very same challenge that I was. Now, many years later I was plopped into Denver where people already had established their life with their peeps, tribe, gang, or what ever you choose to call it.
If I had a mate, I figured to myself, it would be easier for me to go places, engage in activities, and hike in the glorious Rocky Mountains. Even if I never connected with another person, at least I would have my mate as my companion. Because I’m single I am reluctant to dive into these activities fearlessly. And because I have yet to establish my gang, I don’t have anyone I can ask to join me. I’m faced with doing things alone or not doing them at all.
These are the challenges I presently face in my life. What are yours?
Several years ago I learned something very helpful from a Montessori teacher. Her wise lesson keeps me from falling into a deep hole of self-pity or singing the blues longer than necessary. Let me share in the hope it may help you.
All people experience gifts & challenges in life. No one has a life filled with only challenges, one difficulty or hardship after another. Nor does anyone have a life filled with only gifts. Despite how it may appear on Facebook, no person is able, capable or living a life without bumps and disruptions with sad times and difficulties along the way.
Living a solo life as a woman “of a certain age”is a challenge. At the same time, this is also a gift. I get to do or not do what I want when I want. No one talks with me about money and the worry of money. At the same time, there is no one with whom to share my money plans and worries. Do you see how this may be both a challenge and a gift?
What are your challenges? What are your gifts? What are the areas in your life that represent both challenges and gifts?
Today is the perfect day for you to start counting these gifts and challenges to improve your Mental Health & Happiness. With your lists a perfect plan for improvement may emerge.