Have you lost your happy in happily ever after?

By Nancy S Buck, PhD,RN

Remember the promise of life as an adult?  What happened?  Ever wonder why you seem to be spending your days worrying about your children’s happiness, your aging parent’s happiness, your spouse’s happiness, your boss’s happiness and even the happiness of the members of the PTO and Girl or Boy Scout troop?  Ever wonder what happened to your happy in the promise of life Happily Ever After?

How much silly and frivolity do you regularly practice in your life? Let’s start there. You are a responsible adult with serious and important work to do and tasks to perform. But clowning, telling and hearing jokes that lead to groans and moans may be as necessary for your happiness as are water and chocolate.

Perhaps you imagine participating in such activities would be childish. EXACTLY! Children possess a greater sense of HAPPINESS NOW because they capture every moment to be silly, frivolous, and filled with laughter and horse play! (Remember horse play, the thing that most public pools prohibit?)

Frivolity and silly are not the only aspects upon which to focus. When you arrive at work today, take a moment and notice and give thanks for all the other drivers who cooperated with you allowing you to get to work safely (even if it wasn’t on time). Did the sun rise today? That’s worth noticing. What kind of weather are you experiencing today? Give thanks for another day filled with sunshine, or rain, or wind, or whatever it is that this day is filled with. What are the good things you may not have considered that you get to experience with this kind of weather?

All of the many upsets, demands, frustrations and moments in which to complain will be present whether you take note of them or not. So will all the moments worth noticing and relishing because of their joy, awesome nature and ordinary miraculousness. Why not let today be the day you focus on the positive and let someone else monitor and complain about the negative.

Start today resolving to notice and add more moments of joy and laughter in your day. When you do you will be creating  the meaningful life that includes you and your happiness. Aim for Happier Ever After instead of Happily Ever After. Now make Happier happen by your own actions, thoughts, focused attention and celebrations.

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