Tag Archives: confidence

Choose Confidence

Contributed by Iris Benrubi

I arrived back home after my 3 day training in San Diego to find that my car wouldn’t start. I had it towed to the dealership and borrowed my son’s manual car for the day . I’ve driven many manual cars over the years so that was not an issue. I was a little concerned about driving my son’s car for the day though. He takes VERY good care of it and I was a little nervous not to do anything that would scratch, ruin or simply take a toll it’s road worthiness and shine.

Have you ever had one of those discussions in your head?

I was actually having a conversation with my son in my head and this is how it went. “Mom, why are you driving like that. You’re not driving smooth”, to which I replied “I’m worried about keeping your car in great shape and I don’t feel so confident so I’m holding back just a little’

The next moment I had the thought:

“What if I just chose being confident?”

I truly thought that was a brilliant idea because I could see that in that moment, I had a choice in front of me. What if I could just choose being confident while I was driving instead of being scared and holding back? …..and you know what? I chose being confident and my driving totally changed. I wasn’t second guessing anymore. I was shifting gears smoothly, trusting myself to change lanes when needed and to gear down with ease when traffic slowed. This felt like I was a new person behind the wheel. Then I got to thinking, where else do I hold back?

What if I could choose ‘being confident’ in any area of my life?

What would that be like? My challenge to you this week is to look at your behaviour and see where you hold back. Where do you not feel confident or trust yourself fully? My challenge is for you to choose an area in your life where you can:

Choose to be confident right NOW!

……..and notice how your behaviour changes. You might even notice that people around you respond differently when you choose to be confident. How would your career be impacted if you chose to be confident?

How would your love life be different?

Where would you be standing up for yourself? Where would you be setting healthier limits?

To learn more about learn more about Iris, please go to http://irisbenrubi.com/

It can be done! Trust yourself!

Self Reliance: Too Much, Too Little, or Just Right?

by Nancy S Buck, PhD, RN

There once was a boy whose loving and proud mother proclaimed of him, “Jonny can do anything!” Sadly he grew into a man who felt he must do everything, on his own and well.

There once was a girl whose loving and over-protective father proclaimed of her, “Jill could use some help and assistance with this task and that chore. She might get hurt.” Sadly she grew into a needy, whining woman with no confidence, relying on the good will of others to step in and help poor, helpless her.

father-son

There once was a boy and a girl who courageously attempted tasks and projects just beyond their abilities. With a mother and father providing freedom for independent exploration they were  also at the ready to step in and help when assistance was asked for. This pair grew into a man and woman with confidence and goodself-evaluation skills. They each were self-reliant. And they each were aware of their own limitations. They each knew when to ask for help. Generously, they were also more than ready to offer help and assistance to those who needed it.

Good Mental Health & Happiness comes from being self-reliant no matter what others have said about you. Good Mental Health & Happiness comes from knowing when to ask for help and when to offer help to others.

Finding the right balance in your self-reliance contributes to your Mental Health & Happiness. Where do you stand with your self-reliance? Too little? Too much? or Just right?