Tag Archives: improve

Run from the fire or reach for the stars

By Nancy S Buck, PhD, RN

What best describes you?  Do you run from the fire or reach for the stars?

When you spend your time running from the fire the energy propelling you is sourced from fear and pain. You are attempting to avoid getting burned, or alleviate the pain and fear of more pain. In order to keep going on this path you need to keep “re-fearing” yourself by reminding yourself of what can and may happen. It is stress, fear, and a whole lot of negative energy detracting from your Mental Health & Happiness that’s propelling your action.


When you reach for the stars the energy propelling you comes from inspiration. This means you’ve identified what you really want, what your quality world picture or pictures are. You are driven with inspired energy. This doesn’t mean life is stress free but it does mean the energy is uplifting and hopeful, filled with possibilities of dreams coming true. This energy keeps you going, enhancing your Mental Health & Happiness.

Some say when setting your goals you should ask yourself if your goal is realistic. Hmm, seems like that question contains not only realism but also doubt and potential fears.

Imagine if Columbus had asked himself if his dream of finding a shorter sea path to the Orient was realistic. Imagine what Martin Luther King might have done differently if he had asked if his dream was realistic. Imagine what might have happened if Rosa Parks asked if sitting in the white section of the bus was a realistic or good idea. Had any one of these people been driven by their fear instead of their dream to reach for the stars our world would be very different.

Imagine how your life could change if you reached for your star, inspired by what you want rather than what is realistic. If you are willing to let dreams inspire you rather than relying on an internal energy to avoid fear, not only will your Mental Health & Happiness improve, you just might change the world too.

Comparisons are Odious

By Nancy S Buck, PhD, RN

A woman I know walks into any room, whether it is a restaurant, a business meeting, or a family reunion, and immediately compares her size, shape and estimated weight compared to all of the other women. Sadly what she too often discovers is that there are many women who are slimmer, shapelier and seemingly lighter than she. As a result she spends much of our conversations telling me how bad she feels about herself.

If you spend any time listening to the political news you will probably hear how the middle class is “not doing so well.” The top 1% of the wealthiest are becoming even wealthier and the middle is shrinking. If you spend too much time listening to these comparisons you may end up feeling poorer and more financially compromised at the end of the report than you did at the beginning. No money has vanished or appeared in your bank account. But you have been asked to compare your finances with another person’s finances.

Even those many people are aware that comparing who you are, what you do, or what you have to other people is odious. Some of these comparisons end with you being the winner. But eventually you will find someone who beats you taking over the winner spot and leaving you the loser.

If you want to engage in the comparison game, compare yourself with yourself at an earlier age, stage and time. You can also be more discriminating about what you compare with what.

For me, I would rather compare my health now compared to my health a year ago. I want to compare the level of generosity of spirit now compared to a month ago. How is my connection with the important people whom I love now compared to last week? These are the values that are important to me. Engaging in that kind of comparison enables me to change, grow and improve.

Do you spend your time comparing yourself to other people? Are you willing to change and compare yourself with yourself? Your Mental Health & Happiness will improve if you do.