By Dr. Ken Larsen (Originally posted November 14, 2013)
One of the characteristics of mental health and happiness is getting our needs met in and through our relationships with caring other people.
Dr. Glasser describes these needs in a couple of ways. One, from his first best selling book “Reality Therapy” he points out that we need to “Love and be loved, and to feel worthwhile to ourselves and to others.”
Later, when he wrote “Choice Theory” he listed our basic needs as “Survival, Love and belonging, Freedom, Power and Fun.”
One way I meet my fun needs is by learning. Recently I was reading a book entitled “The Female Brain” by Louann Brizendine, MD. One paragraph jumped out at me because it spoke to ways to grow closer to the ones we love. Having a wife, three daughters, and five granddaughters, the more I can understand the female experience of life, the closer I can be in these very special relationships.
This is a quote from the book: “If she’s married or partnered with a male brain, each will inhabit two different emotional realities. The more both know about the differences in the emotional realities of the male and female brain, the more hope we have of turning those partnerships into satisfying and supportive relationships and families.”
I highly recommend this book.