Tag Archives: problem

Tomorrow is another day

Nancy S Buck, PhD, RN

Have you ever had a problem or upsetting issue that seemed to haunt and invade your every thought? Perhaps your thinking is drawn to the recent upsetting conversation you had during an argument with a loved one and no matter how hard you try to stop this train of thought, you play the conversation over and over and over again in your mind. Or maybe the senses of shock and disbelief from having received sudden and unwelcome news has your going over and over and over all options and possibilities in search of a solution and relief.

It’s like when you have a painful cavity or broken tooth. It seems that out of your control or awareness your tongue keeps going to the spot in your mouth to check; Does it still hurt? Sometimes it feels as though our minds return to the same painful thoughts to check; Does it still hurt?

Please check for other blogs that have been written to help you transform these experiences through searching for the GLO Gift, Lesson, Opportunity from these kinds of life events.

Here’s another idea that you can immediately implement to help you deal with these obsessions. Using this management strategy will help improve your Mental Health & Happiness while you are also dealing with the problem or issue.

waitingwomanSet aside thirty minutes during your day when you will indulge and embrace the upset, sadness, depression, anger, frustration or any other upsetting emotion accompanying your present circumstance. Make this a consistent and regular part of your day. Include any props, music, letters, articles, emails that you want and need to fully engage your emotions associated with your present situation.

Now set the timer for thirty minute and begin. During this thirty minute period do what ever you want and need to do: cry, yell, curse, write, rock, punch a pillow, stay motionless and silent or what ever else you feel moved to do. During this time you are not to worry about what others will think or say. You are alone, accepting, acknowledging and allowing full expression of your unhappiness. If you run out of steam before the thirty minutes is complete, simply sit breathing in and out while thinking about what has upset you. Allow your thinking to continually check in with your mind to see; Does it still hurt? Once your time is up, leave this space and know you will return to this practice tomorrow at the same time.

During the rest of you 23 hours and thirty minutes, when your mind drifts back to the upset, outrage or unhappiness, look at your watch. Have your reached the correct time to embrace this thought? If not, remind yourself that now is not the time for this thinking. You will get back to this thought later today at your designated time.

Give this a try the next time you find yourself feeling out of control and driven by your obsessive thoughts. Remind yourself that it’s okay to think those thoughts, feel those feelings and have your own personal temper tantrum. However, you are going to invite and engage your full range of emotions only during the time you manage and designate. Taking this kind of management and control will help support your Mental Health & Happiness during those unpredictable and upsetting moments in our life’s journey.

 

Stress Management

Nancy S Buck, PhD, RN

Today there is much written and blamed on stress, stressors, and stress management.

angrywomanIs your health less than optimal? Perhaps too much stress is to blame? Are your relationships suffering? Could it be that you and your partner are both experiencing too much stress and stressors? Could this stress be interfering with the joyful expression of your love for one another? There are more than a few people who complain regularly about all of the present work stresses they must deal with.

There seems to be an equal amount of solutions being advertised to relieve the stress we each experience in our every day lives. You can sip a hot cup of herbal tea while sitting quietly in nature. Or you can indulge in the latest cocktail made from the finest liquor while enjoying the convivial company of friends. Or you can choose from any of the wide range of “medications” each advertised to bring the relief you seek from the diagnosed problem the ad teaches you is your problem. What all of these solutions have in common is their attempt to eliminate the feeling associated with stress but most do little to actually deal with stress.

What exactly is stress? Is it some unknown overhead cloud that follows some people around? Or perhaps stress is some internal knot that some people tie themselves into? Rather than reaching for the latest remedy advertised to obliterate the feelings of stress would you find it useful to actually understand where stress comes from?

Whenever there is a difference between what you want and what you perceive you are getting you experience stress.

With this understanding and definition, there are several solutions for eliminating stress:

1. Get more of what you want. If you can manage to change your perception of the world to match what you want then you will have eliminated stress. Of course this is easier said than done, but it is a successful stress management strategy.

2. Change what you want. When you accept and perceive that what you are presently getting matches what you want you will have eliminated stress.

3. Change your perception of the world. When you focus your attention on all that you are getting that matches what you want even though your present primary want may not be matching your world perception you will decrease your stress. This is the goal of attitude adjustment practices as well as cultivating gratitude — being grateful for what you do have.

4. Learn more effective behaviors and strategies to increase your chances of getting what you want thus eliminating stress.

And you can keep reading Mental Health & Happiness blogs. You can sign up for the free 21-day challenges to help you deal more effectively with feelings of stress. Both will help you learn and practice specific strategies to eliminate stress and improve your Mental Health & Happiness.