Tag Archives: success

Habits & Happiness

Contributed by Denise Daub

9 Bad Habits That Get In The Way Of Our Happiness

by Sarah Bogdanski

Habits. They are so ingrained in us that we do them without realizing it. They are second nature, and we can live our whole lives with destructive and harmful habits, scratching our heads wondering why we aren’t happy or successful. We don’t even realize that are in a continuous loop of doing the same things over and over again, yet expecting different results.

And while it’s not easy to get rid of a bad habit, it is possible to create healthier, better habits, that will make all the difference in our happiness and success.

Here are nine common habits that get in the way of our happiness:

Read more here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sarah-bogdanski/9-bad-habits-that-get-in-_b_10684866.html?utm_hp_ref=healthy-living

Pain, Wisdom and Resiliency

By Barnes Boffey

People who hope that life will be filled with only smooth moments and pleasurable events are actually working against their own happiness. We should be praying not for smooth roads, but for the strength and resiliency to handle those roads in ways that will allow us to be proud, strong and successful. A life well-lived will have its share of tragedy, sadness, failure and struggle. Mental health is a reflection of our ability to face these events with clarity and strength, and to cope with them in reasonable ways within a reasonable amount of time.

challenges

As parents  should be praying that our children do have difficulty in school and with friends, and in groups and in situations where they are trying something new. We obviously don’t want these difficulties to crush them, but without difficulties as children, they can never learn the resiliency needed in later life. People whose roads are too smooth learn to expect that smoothness, and then when life throws it’s inevitable curve ball, they are knocked off balance and unable to understand what has happened or what to do.

Many of us aspire to be wise in our older years, looking at the lessons of life and being able to abstract thoughful lessons about the meaning of life and how to thrive as human beings. Wisdom does not come from success. Wisdom comes mostly from failure and pain. Wisdom is distilled pain, just as maple syrup is distilled sap. It takes 40 gallons of sap to make a gallon of syrup. It takes many painful experiences to create a drop of wisdom. Looking back over the many painful moments that I have had in the midst of addiction, divorce, family death, illness, depression and failure, I am grateful for the wisdom that has come from that. I am finally ready to be a healthy person myself and to be able to help others in their struggles.

We cannot be much help to others unless we can understand their struggles. The most powerful understandings do not come from books; they come from having personally failed and succeeded in the situations our clients, friend and families are in.

In the words of and unknown Confederate soldier:

I asked for strength that I might achieve;
I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey.
I asked for health that I might do greater things;
I was given infirmity that I might do better things.
I asked for riches that I might be happy;
I was given poverty that I might be wise.
I asked for power that I might have the praise of men;
I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God.
I asked for all things that I might enjoy life;
I was given life that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing that I had asked for,
but everything that I had hoped for.
Almost despite myself my unspoken prayers were answered;
I am, among all men, most richly blessed.

Success or Failure?

by Nancy S Buck, PhD, RN

Do you think of yourself as a successful or a failure? Your answer undoubtedly depends on how you define success and failure. For instance, if you believe having a particular number or certain number of commas in your bank account is the data necessary to prove your success then your answer would be different from a person who believes success is measured by random acts of kindness toward loved ones and strangers alike.

Most of us have learned that failure is part of success. Rarely are any of us successful the very first time we try anything. Children learning to stand for the first time go through a predictable process of standing and falling, followed by standing a failing, with more standing, falling, standing failing repeatedly until finally they stand and succeed. What a remarkable process, especially when you consider what happens next. Now a child will stand and take a step to walk. This learning experience is also full of failure, falling, and frustration until the child learns to walk. Children experience and accept that failure is part of learning and succeeding. It is adults who grow impatient, frustrated and angry when their success takes time and repeated failure.

However, there is a big difference between a child who knows that her failure will ultimately result in success, and a child who believes that he is a loser and a failure no matter what he does or doesn’t do. Unfortunately schools do children no favors in this regard. Giving failing grades to a child struggling to learn does not inspire more studying or striving to succeed. Too often a child believes failure is not just a grade in a subject, but it is who they really are as a person.

Do you think of yourself as a success or a failure? If your answer is failure, consider changing or modifying your definition. The importance of your Mental Health & Happiness depends on believing you are successful and will be successful in your future.

(For those of you involved with children, please take time to help them see themselves as successes too. Their present and future Mental Health & Happiness is at stake.)

Mental Strength

Contributed by Denise Daub

leapinggirlCan mental strength = happiness? It would appear from this article that it can.  In a nutshell mentally strong people don’t do these things:

1.    Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves.  They have learned to take responsibility for their actions and outcomes, and they have an inherent understanding of the fact that frequently life is not fair.

2.   Give Away Their Power. Mentally strong people avoid giving others the power to make them feel inferior or bad.

3.    Shy Away from Change.  An environment of change and even uncertainty can energize a mentally strong person and bring out their best.

4.    Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control. In a bad situation, they recognize that the one thing they can always control is their own response and attitude, and they use these attributes well.

5.    Worry About Pleasing Others.   A mentally strong person strives to be kind and fair and to please others where appropriate, but is unafraid to speak up.

6.    Fear Taking Calculated Risks.  A mentally strong person is willing to take calculated risks.

7.    Dwell on the Past. They invest the majority of their energy in creating an optimal present and future.

8.    Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over.   A mentally strong person accepts full responsibility for past behavior and is willing to learn from mistakes.

9.    Resent Other People’s Success.  It takes strength of character to feel genuine joy and excitement for other people’s success.

10.  Give Up After Failure.  Every failure is a chance to improve. Mentally strong people are willing to fail again and again, if necessary, as long as the learning experience from every “failure” can bring them closer to their ultimate goals.

11.   Fear Alone Time.  Mentally strong people enjoy and even treasure the time they spend alone.  They can be happy with others, and they can also be happy alone.

12.  Feel the World Owes Them Anything.  Mentally strong people enter the world prepared to work and succeed on their merits, at every stage of the game.

13.  Expect Immediate Results.  They know better than to expect immediate results. They apply their energy and time in measured doses and they celebrate each milestone and increment of success on the way.

Sounds like the characteristics of a mentally healthy and happy person, doesn’t it?

Read entire article: http://www.forbes.com/sites/cherylsnappconner/2013/11/18/mentally-strong-people-the-13-things-they-avoid/