Tag Archives: unwelcome news

Transform from a worrier to a warrior!

By Nancy S Buck, PhD, RN

Do you have an upcoming vacation you’re looking forward to? As welcoming as this break may be are you also worrying about the work, planning, and organizing that must be done before you get to plunge deep into the fun and freedom a vacation promises?

Maybe your life is on the other side of this coin. Rather than looking forward to a good moment in life perhaps you’ve recently received some unwelcome news that has you on edge. Maybe you are worrying about the unfortunate change in your physical or financial health or a shift in an important relationship.

Whether you are presently in a good swing of life right now or facing some challenges that could send you spiraling down is worry a constant companion? Are you a worrier?

canstockphoto13026221For many people, worrying is one of the habits they use in an attempt to get the illusion of control in their lives. And if worry leads a person to take necessary and effective action, then by all means continue this  strategy.

But for many people worrying may not lead to further action. Instead the person is worrying, while simultaneously wishing and hoping for the best. Too often the result for this person is increased stress, upset and tension.

My mother was a champion worrier. She worried about her children all day long who walked to and from school (this was long before helicopter parenting). She worried about adequately preparing and packing for our family camping trips. She worried about the health and well being of every member of the family. In fact, she worried so much that I began to believe that her worry was a protective shield over me. This realization came to me after my mother died and I was aware I no longer had her worry to keep me safe. For Mom, worrying was one way she let us know she loved us.

If you are a worrier consider transforming into a warrior instead!  News flash: there is a great deal in life that is out of your control. This means there is a great deal that you could worry about. What if you decided to fully embrace those things in life over which you do have control?What if you decide to face life’s unknowns, including the potential disasters, chaos and hardships as a spiritual warrior? 

A spiritual warrior, according to one definition, is a person who gains mastery over oneself. Imagine waking up each day feeling fearless, strong, and ready to persevere with all the necessary and effective action you can take for the best outcome you desire. Now that you have done what you can, as a spiritual warrior you release the need to control the outcome.

If you are a worrier, let today be the day you experiment for improved Mental Health & Happiness. Just for today practice the actions, thoughts, and feelings of a Spiritual Warrior every time you face your well honed opponent: your habitual worry. The more you practice transforming from a worrier into a warrior, the easier this will become. Eventually your mental Health & Happiness will also improve.

Tomorrow is another day

Nancy S Buck, PhD, RN

Have you ever had a problem or upsetting issue that seemed to haunt and invade your every thought? Perhaps your thinking is drawn to the recent upsetting conversation you had during an argument with a loved one and no matter how hard you try to stop this train of thought, you play the conversation over and over and over again in your mind. Or maybe the senses of shock and disbelief from having received sudden and unwelcome news has your going over and over and over all options and possibilities in search of a solution and relief.

It’s like when you have a painful cavity or broken tooth. It seems that out of your control or awareness your tongue keeps going to the spot in your mouth to check; Does it still hurt? Sometimes it feels as though our minds return to the same painful thoughts to check; Does it still hurt?

Please check for other blogs that have been written to help you transform these experiences through searching for the GLO Gift, Lesson, Opportunity from these kinds of life events.

Here’s another idea that you can immediately implement to help you deal with these obsessions. Using this management strategy will help improve your Mental Health & Happiness while you are also dealing with the problem or issue.

waitingwomanSet aside thirty minutes during your day when you will indulge and embrace the upset, sadness, depression, anger, frustration or any other upsetting emotion accompanying your present circumstance. Make this a consistent and regular part of your day. Include any props, music, letters, articles, emails that you want and need to fully engage your emotions associated with your present situation.

Now set the timer for thirty minute and begin. During this thirty minute period do what ever you want and need to do: cry, yell, curse, write, rock, punch a pillow, stay motionless and silent or what ever else you feel moved to do. During this time you are not to worry about what others will think or say. You are alone, accepting, acknowledging and allowing full expression of your unhappiness. If you run out of steam before the thirty minutes is complete, simply sit breathing in and out while thinking about what has upset you. Allow your thinking to continually check in with your mind to see; Does it still hurt? Once your time is up, leave this space and know you will return to this practice tomorrow at the same time.

During the rest of you 23 hours and thirty minutes, when your mind drifts back to the upset, outrage or unhappiness, look at your watch. Have your reached the correct time to embrace this thought? If not, remind yourself that now is not the time for this thinking. You will get back to this thought later today at your designated time.

Give this a try the next time you find yourself feeling out of control and driven by your obsessive thoughts. Remind yourself that it’s okay to think those thoughts, feel those feelings and have your own personal temper tantrum. However, you are going to invite and engage your full range of emotions only during the time you manage and designate. Taking this kind of management and control will help support your Mental Health & Happiness during those unpredictable and upsetting moments in our life’s journey.