By Bette Blance
There are times when we feel overwhelmed by things that are happening around us. We may be having difficulties at work. It may be with that certain co worker and we don’t know what to do about it. We come home and complain to our significant other about him. It seems that so many conversations we have with other people in our lives are about this one person, what they do or don’t do.
Sometimes in our personal life family members seem to demand things that we don’t want to give. Others do not listen to us. We think if only they would listen to us then things would be just fine. Then, there are the kids. If only, if only… Life seems to spiral out of control.
What if we were able to understand what is happening, and we were able to sort out ways to get back in control? Would life be better then?
As Dr Glasser used to say, when we spin our back wheels, (feeling and physiology) we seem to get nowhere. Life seems to get worse not better.
So often we expect others to change. Yet the essence of life is that we can only ourselves. We can change what we do, or say or think. We can’t change others.
Getting on our front wheels (acting and thinking) means making some decisions about what we can do in each of these situations. Start by asking our self:
What do I want my relationships to be like with my family members?
How do I want to get along with my co-worker?
This gives a starting point to learn other tools to take charge of our life.