By Kim Olver
This is my second blog about the healthy relationship habit–trusting. This one is about trusting who people show you they are.
So often when we get close to someone, we catch glimpses of the potential they have to be a wonderful person, exactly what we want. The problem is these are only glimpses. The majority of the time, people show us exactly who they are. However, we hold them accountable to the glimpses we have seen.
In order to have realistic relationships, we need to stop trusting people to be who we want them to be and instead, trust them to be the person they’ve shown us they are.
We create so much of the misery in our relationships by not believing people when they show us who they are. Never is this more true than in the relationships where perhaps our current partner cheated on his or her last partner with us. S/he has shown s/he is a cheater and yet now we are expecting them to be true to us. This is unfair to ourselves and the other person.
The best thing we can do for an honest relationship is to be ourselves and to accept others for who they show us they are instead of expecting them to be who we want them to be.