By Dr. Nancy Buck
There aren’t many people in my life and my world who bug me. How lucky am I to be in that state of grace! So when I encounter a person who really “rubs me the wrong way” it feels even more annoying and upsetting.
I fully realize that this person is just being herself. It is my expectation and perception of her that creates my own disturbance. In fact, she can say the exact same words as a friend, but coming out of her mouth it’s annoying, unkind and just more evidence for what a jerk she is!
As I sit here writing this story I know how absurd I’m being. If the words are the same and the only difference is the messenger then doesn’t that indicate a faulty receiver? That would be me. I put on a different filter when hearing these words from the annoying person than I do from my friend.
Hmm, I seem to be interfering with my own Mental Health & Happiness.
I’m determined to change! I know I have a much greater chance of succeeding if I work to change me rather than waiting for her to change!
I’ve decided I’m going to look forward to the GLO whenever she speaks. It’s possible that everything in life is offered to me as GLO if I choose to see it that way. What is GLO?
G – a gift
L – a lesson
O – an opportunity
It is up to me to make the shift of receiving everything this woman has to offer as my GLO. In fact, just thinking about this now has already shifted my thinking.
Here is my plan. Every time I’m in her company I will enter thinking “I look forward to all the GLO that is coming my way!” Every time she speaks I will silently ask myself “Where is the GLO?” I might even say out loud, if it’s appropriate and can be said without sarcasm, “I’m trying to understand and find the GLO here. Can you say that differently please?” And every time she does or says something I don’t like or approve of, I will write it down to be GLO’d upon later. She is not annoying. I’m annoying myself. And I have something I can learn here so don’t miss the opportunity she is giving me for more GLO in my life.
Great plan! Already I feel less anger and hostility toward this person. The GLO that she’s offering me right now is my ability to shift my perceptions so I can still be the open, curious, engaging and kind person I want to be. What someone else says, asks or the way they behave does not need to alter who I am, as long as I look for the GLO.
And just to create my own safety net, I’m going to approach every interaction I have with all of the people in my life the same way. That means I can practice and be more of an expert on finding the GLO when I’m faced with challenging people. Plus, I don’t want you, my friends, to be thinking you are “that”person if I happen to ask you “Where is the GLO?”